“No, you cannot have that today!” “No! Stop doing that.” “Finish your homework” “Don’t go out” “Stop playing” “Get ready for school you are late!”
“WHY DON’T YOU LISTEN TO ME?”
In my experience of 16 years where I regularly interact with parents the one question that most of them ask is, “How do I make my child listen to what I say?” or “My child doesn’t listen to what I say, what do I do? I am fed-up of their behaviour” We all want the best for our children and to deliver the best, we work hard not only at work but also at home. We go through the busy streets and reach our workplace, there we struggle hard from morning 9 to evening 6 and sometimes we are required to stay late and work. We even have to work on festivals to ensure that our children receive the best. All of the pains we go through are no doubt for the sake of our children. But sometimes all our struggles seem to go in vain when our children do not listen to what we say. There are also parents who feel disappointed saying that I have worked so many hours and when
I reach home my child doesn’t listen to what I say.
Are you one of those Parents who struggle all day working to ensure a secure and struggle free life for your children? Or Are you one of those Parents who want to give the best to your children but somewhere everything is missed out because they didn’t listen to you? Or do you wish for all the success for your children but eventually they don’t listen to you?
If your answer is a YES, then based on my experience I shall be sharing with you a proven strategy for this common challenge faced by most Parents which will help you make your children listen to what you say and in the end it will help you deliver the best to your children. These ideas have worked for over a 1000 parents who have attended our workshop, and it will work for you as well provided you are ready for a change.
Upon interaction with the Parents of our School at Achieve School of Education here are some situations where children don’t listen to what we say:
Your child caught a cold last week and is still recovering. The child craves for ice-cream and forces you to buy one, but you know that ice-cream won’t be good for your child’s health. What would you do? Generally, most parents deny their children by saying no. “No! You cannot have ice-cream. You are sick, and you want to eat ice-cream. No more ice-cream for you” This is the common reply by most parents.
Every day children are required to complete their homework, but they are busy playing video games. As a parent, we know that homework is important, so we ask our children this question, “Did you finish your homework?” To this, the simplest reply would be “No, I will do that later” To this, some of us wait while some parents scold their children saying, “Every time you keep playing that game, when will you study? Get up, or I will pack everything permanently and throw it out”.
There are also children who bully other children, and as a parent, we become fed-up of all the complaints. Every other day the Parents of other children come to you and say, “Your child hit my child what do you teach your children?” The result of all such complaints leads to Parents scolding and reprimanding their child and saying, “I have told you so many times, you don’t listen to me.” Or “I have asked you not to beat anyone why would you hit the other child?”
The question now is despite showing care and concern towards our children there are times when we come across such situations where children do not listen to us. What can you do as a Parent? How do you get them to listen?
My most straightforward idea to deal with such situations is to turn all the statements into powerful statements, by saying the opposite of every negative term used.
Considering the examples above, when a child wants ice-cream, instead of saying “no you cannot, you caught cold last week” change the sentence to, “Yes, you can". But that will be next week after you have completely recovered your health”. What change do you notice in the two statements? Think for a moment about what the two different statements are about? Comment your thoughts about the same down below. According to us, in the first sentence, you completely stopped the child to which they would generally object and not listen to you. In the second sentence, you didn’t deny them entirely but proposed a possibility. Correct?
By saying “You can have ice-cream after you have recovered your health”, you suggest that eating ice-cream when sick is unhealthy, but when we are healthy we can have ice-cream.
Similarly, when your child is busy playing video games than studying, instead of saying, “Go finish your homework, stop playing”. Change the sentence to, “I will play for an hour with you but after this I will read a book and you will have to study for an hour. Is it ok?” This will bring in the sense of understanding for the child that my parent will play with me and also study with me. Look at the beauty of the sentence. You are not saying ‘no’, but at the same time, you are not saying ‘yes’ as well.
In the case of the child beating other children, instead of reprimanding the child or punishing them for their behaviour we can bring in a powerful sentence. Instead of saying don’t hit your friend, say “Can you love your friend? Can you take good care of your friend? “Can you treat/respect your friend the way you want to be treated or respected?” The idea is to take all the negative statements and turn them into their opposites. This will create a positive impact on children and as a parent, we know, that positivity brings in success, don’t we?
So, next time when your children do not listen to you, you know what you must do, right? Change the sentence to a powerful statement and observe the changes. Stop saying ‘No’ and negate the thoughts of your children. Bring in positivity and witness the difference in your lifestyle and the scaling success of your children. As we want the best for our children feeding them with positive and good thoughts will surely help your child receive the best there is. What are the situations you come across? Mention them in the comments section. Type down a negative statement that requires transforming and we will do the same for you. Like this post if you felt that it is valuable. Share this post to everyone you feel is in need of a transformation. And for this we will book you a seat for our FREE one day seminar.